Transcript:
Welcome to the aftercare experience, post pregnancy conversations with Anita. I’m Anita, mom, licensed mental health counselor, sleep consultant, full spectrum doula, and so much more.
Anita: Hi, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the aftercare experience, postpartum conversations with Anita today. I have a, such a great guest and I’m so excited to be talking to Sabrina. Sabrina is a doula and she helps in her doula practice. Having a community with such a specific community that I feel like we don’t talk about a lot and it’s.
Anita: the community of those who have to terminate their pregnancy due to medical reasons. And I’m so excited to get into this conversation about what TFMR is, how she helps her community in their aftercare experience, and, all the things she does. So thank you,
Sabrina: Sabrina, for being here today. Thank you. Thank you so much, Anita.
Sabrina: And thanks for opening up this conversation, especially in the like broad mothering the context of, you know, broad mothering because it is a part. Yeah. So
Anita: tell everybody a little bit about you and what got you to this place where you are. Well, you’re really known as the TFMR doula. So what
Sabrina: got you to here?
Sabrina: What’s your story? Yeah. Thank you. So I decided to create this community for people who have had to Terminate a wanted pregnancy for health reasons either for their own reason something with their body or their pregnancy just does not permit the pregnancy to continue or for the baby’s health.
Sabrina: So different syndromes and conditions present in utero and many people have to make this heartbreaking decision to end their wanted And, or surprise to wanted pregnancies and I, I created this space because I went through it too. So this happened to me in 2018. I had a older daughter already.
Sabrina: She was four at the time. And my, my partner now my husband we decided that we wanted another baby, but we, we were also going to get married. So we were kind of waiting for the wedding we did conceive our second baby right in, like, the honeymoon period. So it was really magical. I felt like, oh, okay, this time I did it all right.
Sabrina: Whatever that is. You know, this time , we got married. We’re, we’ve been together a little bit longer. We’re more committed. I took a whole fertility course beforehand. I was doing all the supplements. All the things, seed cycling, like so many things for my fertility, and our baby was still sick.
Sabrina: So it’s not really about doing it right, or doing it wrong, or not doing enough, or, I Finally came to realize not right away. This was something that took a while to work through that these things just happen, you know, there’s sickness and illness and conditions. In humanity, and it happened with my baby.
Sabrina: So we found out in the scan between 11 and 14 weeks where they look for different markers for genetic conditions. One of the main things that they look at is the size of the fluid in the back of the neck. So I think they called it nuchal translucency or NT. And our babies was very high. Our.
Sabrina: Doctor went silent during the scan and was taking more and more pictures. And you know, I just felt like something’s wrong. And then he said I’m sorry, your baby does not look the same as when you came in a few weeks ago. Your baby is very sick. The fluid was so immense. that there’s even a name for it.
Sabrina: He was calling it a cystic hygroma. Sometimes it’s just on one side, sometimes it’s on both. Our baby had it on both sides and the swelling was not only on the back of the neck and causing a really high nuchal translucency reading but it was also all over her body. so Her torso, her head, and he imagined that.
Sabrina: You know, down the line, we would also find out that the swelling, which he called high drops, that’s the, the name for this, not really condition. Or, oh, so our doctor told us that. You know, probably a few weeks more into the pregnancy, they would be able to visualize swelling in the organs as well around the heart.
Sabrina: The condition itself may have been caused by an underlying heart condition. Or he said it could have been Turner’s syndrome or any of the other trisomies. Something genetic, we don’t really know and I still don’t know, and that’s a part of my story that is very tragic because it’s related to the, the political environment around terminations and abortions.
Sabrina: He, he told us on that day when he gave us this diagnosis and we could see showing us different pictures of different fetuses at, at, at this stage of development and then showing us the picture, like what he was seeing on the screen and we could see it ourselves with our own eyes. bUt he told us that day.
Sabrina: You need to decide now, because there’s really no time. And it can’t be here in this state. You should contact your gynecologist. He, he knew who my gynecologist was. But I think he didn’t even want to give me a reference because it’s not. lEgal in the state that I live in, in Mexico here in Morelos, Mexico so he didn’t even want to, you know, tell me the name of a clinic and but he, was telling us, you know, how long we had that up to 12 weeks, which is, they count it as 14 weeks since we count the two weeks, but I was already 12 weeks and six days.
Sabrina: So I really only had a week to figure out and I wasn’t offered an IPT testing, even though that’s just screening. So to see if any of those conditions would have been picked up. And IPT testing is still available. Not very common. In Mexico, in my pregnancy, after this loss, I had to seek it out from like a special laboratory and have my blood sent to, I don’t know, probably Los Angeles or something to to get A-N-I-P-T test done.
Sabrina: So we weren’t offered that, and I asked about an amniocentesis and he said, well, you would have to wait until week 18 and then your options. There really are no options. It would, it would more be to know what condition she had so that we could be prepared at birth or you know, deliver and the high risk, the high risk, or with the team knowing that they would have to take the baby for this or that or NIC.
Sabrina: You care. But I didn’t know, you know, right then what I wanted to do, but I did already have a feeling I remember thinking I’m going to have to have an abortion, you know, for my wanted baby for my baby that I planned for for my baby that I waited to conceive after I got married. So it was all very confusing.
Sabrina: And he was using the word termination. Which it is, legally, it’s an abortion, but the experience is pregnancy loss, so psychologically, emotionally to my heart, to my mind, to my motherhood, it was pregnancy loss, it was grieving who died and I’ve heard people describe it as it’s, similar to having to take a loved one off of life support.
Sabrina: bUt in this case, I was the life support for my baby. Because her condition the swelling, it leads to swelling in the lungs and then the lungs don’t fully develop. So she would never be able to breathe. She would, she would have suffocated upon birth. However long that would have been. I mean, with, with how advanced things already were.
Sabrina: Our doctor was imagining that you know, it would have been a stillbirth at any point or miscarriage, you know, depending on the weeks. But that probably our baby wouldn’t survive, you know, very much longer in pregnancy. And then I was up against these laws. So we went home and I think he did give us the printout and you know, all of the, the numbers and, you know, where he was seeing the swelling and all that on the pictures and one little piece of paper that said Turner syndrome.
Sabrina: And so my husband and I went home. And we started Googling as much as we could. I read as many research papers, looked at statistics. It just got more and more dire the more that I looked at it. And I found out some things that he hadn’t told me. Well, he, had said you know, I support whatever you want to do.
Sabrina: anD if you want to continue the pregnancy, this is now a high risk pregnancy, and I want to see you weekly. So, that was a big shift, just to, just to hold that, just to know, okay, this is now a high risk pregnancy. Does that even mean? And I found out that the condition that my baby had, this swelling, the high drops, Can turn into what they call mirror syndrome and it can cause the same kind of swelling in organs for the pregnant person.
Sabrina: So I was at risk of developing high drops as well. I mean, it wouldn’t be high drops because it’s different for the gestating person, but just, just knowing that I was, you know, putting my organs at risk. And then I found out even more, about babies with this condition and how they. deliver them. It’s a very high risk procedure.
Sabrina: It’s not even a cesarean section. It’s called an exit strategy where they just like cut through all of the layers all at once vertically. So it’s not even like the nice little like bikini area incision. No, this is like emergency. We have to get the baby out along. All at once, so very traumatic.
Sabrina: I, you know, I just, I read about that procedure and I was like, wow, that sounds really traumatic to the body, to the uterus, to the baby itself. And I thought. You know, I don’t, I don’t want that. I don’t want that for my body. And I don’t want that for her. If she’s already suffering, if she already has all these conditions, if she already has all of these insurmountable obstacles to even being born and then what surviving a few minutes.
Sabrina: So eventually we did decide that we wanted to go ahead with the termination. And it still really messes with my head that. That, that it’s a termination, that it’s not just called a DNC because that is what it is. It’s a DNC or a DNE later on in pregnancy. Or, or some people just like you know, if a baby is stillborn or if their heart has stopped, if they’ve died in the womb some people give, some people are induced and all of those are different ways that, that babies are born through.
Sabrina: Terminations or when there’s a pregnancy loss or when the baby has died, it’s really all the same. They’re all the same types of procedures. So when everyone kept saying like, okay, scheduling your abortion, okay, your procedure, your da da da. I was thinking what, like, what is going on? Because this is a, this is a wanted baby and I’m being put in the abortion box, which is.
Sabrina: You know, I mean, many people have to have abortions for so many different reasons. But it just felt really inappropriate, both for the people who are having what we could call lifestyle abortions. Because they were there and yes, there were some tears, but there were also some people who were just like, okay, I don’t want this pregnancy.
Sabrina: And there was even this one woman at the clinic who kind of, when the nurses said, okay, you can go now. And she was just like, thank you and smiling and hugging the nurses and like skipping out of there. And that was not, that was not my psychological experience. You know, it would be like putting someone.
Sabrina: Who has to go through a DNC because their baby has died right next to someone who’s having a lifestyle abortion like that. And I also felt like all of my tears and like our big outward expression of like grief and big emotions between my husband and I, he, he was allowed to be with me at certain points at the clinic.
Sabrina: But I felt like our big expressions of emotions could have traumatized other people. Like it was inappropriate for them as well to see, to see us going through a pregnancy loss psychological experience. And we asked for a private room and they couldn’t, I don’t think they had the space. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to they weren’t able to give us that.
Sabrina: So there were. That, that happened that were just very confusing to my psyche. I would say very, very confusing because like I said, this was a wanted baby and and through all this process, I, I haven’t even used the word TFMR yet because I still didn’t know that that’s what it was, that that was how I could define the situation for myself.
Sabrina: I learned about that word. Maybe, like, three or four days after losing my baby, I just kept googling different things, like, Abortion for fetal anomalies, or abortion for this or that, or termination, termination for health reasons. Like, I didn’t even know what I was looking for, or grief support after abortion.
Sabrina: That, I do not recommend. I do not recommend that, that search. It, it leads you down the, like, Brimstone and hell area, and that is not what I needed. I needed pregnancy loss support groups. That’s really what I was looking for. I was looking for pregnancy loss groups, but I would, you know, bind boards and groups.
Sabrina: And then they would say miscarriage and stillbirth and nothing else. And so, I would feel like, well, it wasn’t a miscarriage, I don’t think, it wasn’t a stillbirth, I don’t think, so I don’t fit there and I didn’t know where I fit, but I eventually found some boards on BabyCenter, and they have a TFMR board and I also found a Facebook group ending a wanted pregnancy.
Sabrina: sO that group used the term TFMR termination for medical reasons. And they would say, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so sorry your baby died. I’m so sorry your baby was so sick. I’m sorry you were put in this position. Error. You know, members share their grief stories, how they honor and remember their babies.
Sabrina: I saw people in that group who were part of, like, broad pregnancy loss spaces. They would say, oh, we did this 5K, 5K pregnancy walk, pregnancy loss awareness walk the other weekend and my baby’s name was on the list. And I thought, oh, you can, you can do that. You can do that if it was. And abortion. And so seeing how people were grieving out loud and remembering their babies, it gave me permission to do the same, but it was a was a long journey and even though I found, you know, I, I found these groups, pretty quickly, you know, just like a few days afterwards.
Sabrina: It still wasn’t soon enough. I should have been told. You know, that TFMR is a term, and this is a pregnancy loss, and here are resources. I should have been told that, you know, right when we were even making the decision. Right when we were getting the, the, the diagnosis.
Anita: In your story, and I just think to, like, present day, and how these same challenges, Are still there. And especially now, I want to say with what occurred last summer in the United States, where rules were overturned, which now made it even harder. Or moms who were going through their child having some type of anomaly or it was affecting their own health and trying to now navigate in such a short period of time where they can go in order to get things done.
Anita: And I know I was supporting a mom right after everything was overturned. And her telling me her story of, you know, between my religious beliefs, and that’s now weighing heavy on me, and then I’m trying to go and find where I can do this. But I have this time crunch and who’s going to be able to watch my kids and that I need to fly to a whole different state.
Anita: And then I’m getting to that state and I want to have this done in a private place in the hospital. But the hospitals are giving me such a hard time about it. So then now. I have to go to a clinic, and there’s all these people outside with these signs, calling me all types of different names and different things like that.
Anita: And they’re not understanding that this is not just for me, it’s for my baby. Like, I want this child so badly, but we’re just in a space where, unfortunately, our child is not going to be able to make it Earthside. And to hear that you had some similar things. In 2018, and now we’re in 2023, and parents are still going through the same thing.
Anita: It almost makes us think, when is something going to change? How are we going to be able to educate more people about the term abortion does not necessarily have to
Anita: be a negative thing.
Sabrina: And it’s absolutely awful that people who are getting any type of abortion have to put up with that and go to another state when they’re already in a crisis.
Sabrina: When they’re already just trying to do the best they can in different situations or looking decades ahead through their life or even thinking about the life that they could give to that baby. I don’t think that any abortion is made without consideration and care and love.
Anita: Now, in your grieving and finding these groups, and I mean, I feel like grief is a journey.
Anita: There’s this, it’s like no timeline. First of all, we can work through it. And as we go through different stages, we may have new triggers and new things for us to work through in our grief journey. But in your grief journey, what got you to a place where you decided to create the community that you do have
Sabrina: today?
Sabrina: That’s a really great question. I decided to create the community that. I have today, you know, going through the experience that, that I went through and then finding so much solace and hope in these few little groups that existed, but so much, they, they saved my life. I, I would have been just floating out into the ocean without those groups and their guidance and other people who had been through this too and said, I’m sorry for your loss.
Sabrina: Just hearing that validation after what I went through was just so invalidating on so many levels. But I found that community and I, I really felt the, the strength in sharing those stories in sharing hope and sharing ideas for so in, in, in sharing those stories and sharing the hope and sharing the solace, sharing different ideas, different ways to cope with grief.
Sabrina: Because there are some very specific layers of TFMR pregnancy loss that other types of pregnancy loss, people don’t have to grapple with as much, of course, there are, you know, different types And, and different ways to either induce or have a, have a DME or, you know, all, all those different kinds of decisions at the, at the end of a pregnancy people do have to grapple with that, but there’s this level.
Sabrina: I would say that because of the specific layer of needing to make the decision, holding the weight of the decision on our shoulders as TFMR parents. That changes the grief landscape and it deserves to be tended to of all of the things that come up in the complicated feelings and all of the tough thoughts, or even the good thoughts that come up around the fact that we had to choose this deserves a lot of space and time, and I find that that’s one of the.
Sabrina: Biggest things that people need to process after going through this type of loss. At least that was true for me. And I, and I find the same for my clients and my community. So I have a face. I have a, I have a Facebook group now to There are over 600 people in there currently, and we talk about these things all the time.
Sabrina: We, we support each other through, you know, the next triggering abortion law news cycle. We support each other through our friends and family getting pregnant and then saying things like, Oh, I would never do any of that testing because it’s a baby anyway. It’s really hard not to take those comments personally and sort of roll it over onto ourselves and say, Oh, so they’re saying I didn’t love my baby.
Sabrina: So there’s a lot of social, political, religious things that people say. And we have to deal with that, and I think it’s most helpful to, to deal, to learn how to cope with the current situation with others who have been through it, because there are people in the community who are years ahead of you when you come in and they’ve had experience.
Sabrina: It’s like, Oh yeah, it’s November again. Yeah, they’re going to be talking about abortion. Here’s what you can do. Or here’s what I did last year to help get myself through the election season. Or here’s what I did four years ago when it was a presidential election season. That makes sense.
Anita: And I feel like even having this conversation with you, even though I do work with.
Anita: Moms who have experienced loss, some who have experienced through TFMR, I don’t think I thought about those things either, like elections, how those can be triggering or even the things that you said of family members. And in those instances, it’s sometimes that lived experience that would make you think about it.
Anita: And although we never want wish loss or anything on people, but. Even like I’ve experienced the loss via miscarriage and understanding grief and my own grief journey and as I’m moving through things in life, but to also realize that I can understand from the grief to some extent. But like you said, the fact that I wasn’t in control of what occurred and that as you’re pregnant, you are the life support for your baby.
Anita: And then making that decision to be like, okay, I do have to pull this life support. Yeah, for my child or for whatever reason that it needs to occur. And I’m thankful that you did share that because I think that is a big thing for everybody to hear and understand that as you’re continuing through your journey through life and through your grief that this is a thing that you are carrying with you.
Anita: And so many people think, okay, well, this occurred that they’ve moved on, everybody move on, but that’s not true. It’s still a part of your story, and although it doesn’t define who you are, it is still a part of
Sabrina: you. Yeah. It changes the makeup of your family forever because there’s that missing high chair.
Sabrina: There’s that missing step between siblings, or some people never even get a living child. They only have pregnancy losses of whatever kind. Mm hmm. It changes us, changes us to lose a family member. How would it not? How would it, how would it, how would it not? Exactly.
Anita: So I have another question for you.
Anita: I feel like today everybody is hearing the word doula. Doula has been thrown around a lot, but you are the TFMR doula. How does it work as far as your specialty?
Sabrina: Hmm. Yeah, so there are some people that consider doulas are only there physically, like physically attending to the birthing person or their family members during a birth, but there are also postpartum doulas, fertility doulas, there are death doulas.
Sabrina: It’s really someone who companions someone else through their process or rite of passage and This type of loss is a rite of passage, and that’s where I come in. Currently all of my offerings are virtual, which is great because I can connect people all over the world and we come together and you know, share ideas and resources and coping and stories.
Sabrina: bUt I guess when people work one on one with me. I, I lead them through a postpartum bath ritual, so that can even be virtual and we can talk about it and process the feelings and emotions that come up after. And I also lead people through grief circles. So some people want to meet live and get a higher level of support.
Sabrina: And I put these groups together of about four or five of us. And we go through grief circles together, we meet together on Zoom, and we talk about what it’s like to have gone through this rite of passage, and what it means now to mother in this way, to have parented in this way. And that’s where the companioning comes in.
Anita: I like the way you explained it. And for me, I was able to even like visually see it, the circle of being able to not only make the connection with you, but also being able to make connection with other moms who are experiencing the same thing you’re experiencing. And. They may not be in the same stage you are at right now, but being able to see, okay, this is where I can be, this is what the future could look like, and being able to see that in the early stages or whatever stage they come to you at, I think that’s a great thing for anybody just to be able to be there and be in this space and in the sacred space of other people who have experienced something similar
Sabrina: to you.
Sabrina: Yeah, I heard the other day that the definition of ceremony is intrinsically linked with others, right? Like a wedding ceremony. It’s because even if you elope, there’s still one other witness, right? So all of our ceremonies have witnesses, and we may invite loved ones or friends. And so when we see this as ceremony, we can witness each other through this process through and through the love and remembering the huge love and the sacrifice.
Sabrina: That we went through and that our babies went through to get us through TFMR. And now what does it mean to live now in the after where we opened Pandora’s box? We can’t put the NIPT, the amniocentesis, the ultrasound results, the conditions. We can’t just stick them back in the box and say, I’m just going to cover my eyes.
Sabrina: And like, I never saw that. No, we saw it and we had to make a choice. And let me say, it’s hard either way. The, the comments, and there, there will be angry comments for like, any parenting or mothering choice, right? We know that. It’s really like, part and parcel of being a mother. You’re gonna get flack and negative comments about whatever you choose.
Sabrina: But this happens when people, sometimes when people share their TFMR stories or their termination stories. Or they may call it their abortion story and then the comments come in, I don’t even know what they say, but the thing is I’ve also seen people who have carried sick pregnancies to term or babies with many different conditions to term.
Sabrina: And you know what, they get the same comments on their posts. You’re selfish. You’re a bad mother. How could you choose this?
Sabrina: There’s really no winning. We, we just have to choose what’s best for us. What’s best in our heart. What’s best for this baby with this condition in this pregnancy. Everybody likes to
Anita: have opinions. When it comes to women and anything we choose to do with our bodies and stuff like that. What are three ways that someone can be more supportive to a mom who’s going through TFM1 or has
Sabrina: gone through TFM1?
Sabrina: Yeah, I imagine many other doulas and other mothers probably listen to your podcast. So being in those roles, we can, we can support. You know, our community members and people who go through really hard things in a very profound way. I Would say num number one is to be careful with your language. So, some some people say things that are more to soothe themselves.
Sabrina: So people who go through this type of pregnancy loss may hear things like, Well, it’s good you caught it early. Or, it’s good you found out.
Sabrina: They’re really saying that to soothe themselves. It’s like, oh, oh good. But what’s going on is this is a big grief process. This is a loss. So just remember this is the loss of a family member. Would you say that to someone? I mean, people say stuff all the time. So like, you know, someone getting a, a, a cancer diagnosis or the.
Sabrina: It’s like, well, it’s, it’s good that you found out. It’s like, okay,
Sabrina: that doesn’t incorporate everything that’s going on. So I would say, be, be careful with your language. Something that would be better to say is I’m sorry for your loss. Or or if you’re in the position to talk to someone while they’re even making the decision or they’ve just found out about the, the diagnosis you could say something like, I’m sorry you, you’ve even been put in that position
Sabrina: because it’s just hard and there’s nothing that we can do or say to take away the hardness. That’s it. That’s another thing that a lot of my community members say helped them is people who just said. That’s, that sucks. That’s horrific. That’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through that.
Sabrina: So being
Anita: like more intentional with what you’re saying, not just trying to soothe yourself.
Sabrina: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because sometimes people will say, like, they, they jump, they jump past the sitting with the person in the devastation, and they move so quickly into the like hope for the future. Yeah, that they could say things like, well, at least, you know, you could get pregnant or you can get pregnant again.
Sabrina: It’s like, that does not take away this crisis that does not take away this grief. So if number one is be careful with your language. I would say number two is it’s okay to not, to not know what to say and it’s okay to just listen. I think that’s
Anita: very powerful when it comes to any type of group. Oh yeah.
Anita: For anybody. Just being able to hold space for that
Sabrina: person. Yeah, it’s something that We may have never been taught to do, especially with our go go, you know, like, capitalist society, gotta, gotta work, gotta do this, like, go to the next task, you’ll get another job, you do this, or like, we’ll get ahead, or, you know, it’s just like on and on and on and on to the next bigger, bigger, bigger.
Sabrina: But we’re still human animals in these bodies that go through these different rites of passage. And the body and the rite of passage itself is asking for time and to be seen. Like to be seen in ceremony, even if it’s not a ceremony, even if it’s just, you know, just, it’s not just when it’s a conversation between two friends or kindred spirits or a support person, like if you’re the doula or the nurse or or a coworker, you know, you can even say.
Sabrina: Words and I’m here to listen whatever you want to share and then actually listen. What would number three be three? I want to say something about education like if they if they share the diagnosis name You can google it learn a little bit about it or if they share You know, that it’s a TFMR, you could Google TFMR support, and you’ll find me and like a few others that are in this space, and what we share, because sometimes we share more of the inner thoughts, or part of the closed community, that your friend or patient may not share with you, just because it may not be the right place, Bye.
Sabrina: Bye. But if you find these communities and, and accounts you can see like we, we share what we’re, what we’re thinking, what our, what our community is thinking and, and it can give you some insights into, Oh, you know, like you were saying earlier, Oh yeah, I could see how election season could be a hard time for, you know, these bereaved parents.
Sabrina: So
Anita: to recap is the first one was be careful about what you’re saying. The second one is more of like holding space, making sure you’re listening and then the third one is to become educated so that you can help maybe give resources or if you’re told what the diagnosis is to go read up on the diagnosis so you can understand a little bit more of what occurred and what is still occurring as they’re going through their grieving process.
Sabrina: Yeah, yeah. And depending on the relationship it could be appropriate to even ask that person, you know, what did you learn about the, the diagnosis? That sounds so heartbreaking. And we are sometimes even a bigger expert on it than the doctors who gave us the diagnosis because we had to go like way deep into the Google hole and, and all of the available, you know, research papers.
Sabrina: We had, we had to go there. We had to go way deep in so that we could make an informed decision for our child or for our body or whatever the conditions were, or if it was a combination. So the person themselves can you can even be. You know, a wealth of, of knowledge, if it’s appropriate, right? Because sometimes it’s more appropriate just to talk about, you know, remembering their grief, remembering the baby, because they may not have space for that in their lives.
Sabrina: You know, it’s okay if they share their baby’s name. It’s okay to, you know, send a text and say, Oh, I was, I was thinking about you know, little Charlie today. Well, thank you for
Anita: coming here today and sharing this information. I know I learned a lot more about TFMR, pregnancy loss, and even learning some other ways that I can help support those who may have experienced it that come my way and things like that.
Anita: If people wanted to get in touch with you, how
Sabrina: can they get a hold of you? They can go to my website at thetfmrdoula. com And I would say my hub of information is on Instagram. So that’s on the, I have a link on my homepage as well to my Instagram, but across social media, I am the TFMR doula across social media.
Sabrina: And and if someone has been through this themselves, I would invite them into my Facebook group. If they’re on Facebook, I know not everyone is. But it’s a really wonderful space where they can meet other people who have been through it too. So there’s an application form on my website.
Sabrina: That’s on my homepage too. And I even have a tab with different downloads. So if you would rather just get, you know, private emails from me, I have a lot of ways that you can get on my email list too any of those downloads will then take you into the whole TFMR support ecosystem and in my emails.
Sabrina: And. On Instagram and in the Facebook group we’re always sharing other resources like other TFMR support accounts or other broad pregnancy loss spaces that are allies or supportive of TFMR parents because we sort of screen other places for other people in our community. So we do that for each other.
Sabrina: We’re always trying to share more resources because. There are not many, there are not many. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to make a sort of certification or a course so that people can have a TFMR support specialty along with however they do LA or nurse or do grief support. I’ll be looking out for it.
Sabrina: Oh, I’ll invite you. Yeah, you’re invited.
Anita: I would definitely would love to go through that course and learn more ways to support however
Sabrina: I can support. Oh, thank you. Well, thank you
Anita: once again for taking the time out to have this important conversation with me. I hope that those who are listening got something from this conversation and those who may have experienced
Sabrina: this type of loss.
Sabrina: Now
Anita: I’ve found a resource that they can go to to learn more information or find support and that everybody has now heard different ways that they are able to support those who have experienced a TFMR pregnancy loss.
Thanks for listening to an episode of the aftercare experience post pregnancy conversations with Anita. Be sure to follow me on all social media platforms at you do mom H W.
